Before writing Colloquium, I indulged myself in an assload (a unit of measurement roughly equal to thirty-seven) of Twilestia pictures and fics, trying to get a real grip on what it was all about. What I first noticed was that this ship contained profound depth. Their affection for one another is something so repressed and banished to the back of their minds that, when it finally does come out, it's almost earth-shattering. These feelings are a conflict within themselves, which makes for the best case of shameful, oh-god-I-shouldn't-be-feeling-this introspection. Their own natural attraction makes them walk on eggshells and they can't even be honest with themselves. I don't know about you guys, but that's some good reading to me.
A lot of people claim that this pairing is a demonstration of pedophilia. But how? Allow me to dissect this like a dead frog covered in formaldehyde and strapped to a tray in a science class.
UHHH CELESTIA IS LIEK 1,000 YEARS OLD AND TAHTS PEDOFEELIA.
Ehem. Here's the definition of a pedophile from WebMD: A pedophile is a person who has a sustained sexual orientation toward children, generally aged 13 or younger.
Now, let me ask, does Twilight even remotely behave like a thirteen-year-old? Eenope. She's an adult, able to consent and make well thought-out decisions.
BUT CELESTIA IS STILL OLD AS FUCK, HERROPONY. UR A STUPID PROGRESSIVE SOCIALIST LIBERAL AND YOU PROBABLY RECYLE. DUMB HIPPIE.
There's a difference between old as fuck and immortal. She's not a wrinkly, perverted, sexually repressed old man who has cybersex with twelve-year-olds on AOL chatrooms and eventually ends up on To Catch a Predator. She's an eternally youthful demigod who is forced to adhere to a different set of morals because of her immortality. Molestia meme aside, there is no sexual deviance or intention of harm in her actions.
SHE'S STILL TWILIGHT'S TEACHER, YOU SICK ASSHOLE. TEACHER/STUDENT RELATIONSHIPS ARE DISGUSTING. YOU'RE PROBABLY OKAY WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER NASTY STUFF TOO. I BET YOU LIKED THAT MOVIE SPLICE CUZ HE FUCKED THE ALIEN.
Celestia is so much more than just Twilight's teacher. In a way, that shallow title is degrading to the princess. It's not in the traditional sense where you get a teacher for a semester and then you move on. She's been there for Twilight's entire life. Celestia is her personal mentor, basically molding her and helping her reach her true potential. Twilight is her protoge, her brainchild. She doesn't just sit in a class and fantasize about Celestia when she bends down to pick up chalk; they have something deep-seated and unfathomable. Besides Luna, Twilight is Celestia's only relation that goes beyond the strictly detached princess/subject interaction, and it's most likely a colossal relief.
All in all, it's a bittersweet ship that is undoubtedly misunderstood. Don't ship it? That's fine and dandy. Just presenting my argument on how it's definitely not pedophiliac or sick. Or I'm just really bored. Yeah, that's it. After all, this is just a children's cartoon about colorful talking horses that turned into an internet phenomenon, and I'm making shipping headcanons about it.
What has my life become?